Balance

Yeah, yeah, I’m late for a New Year’s resolution, but there you go.  I didn’t get that extra hour in a day that I requested for Christmas…

I like New Year’s resolutions.  If they’re well thought out.  I’ve always liked the idea of a quiet January first to reflect on your life, what you love, what you want to change.  It’s not as quiet as I would like with the souricettes running around but I did come up with a good one.  I started out thinking about everything I want to do.  I always feel like I’m lacking time and that I’m being lazy.  If I have 3 unproductive seconds, I feel lazy.  I have way more than 3 unproductive seconds in a day.  I feel lazy a lot.  So I tend to give myself lots of goals.  And then I’m exhausted.  This year, I was about to list everything I needed to do : more exercise, more photography and editing, more sewing, more knitting, more volunteering at souricette 1’s school, more activities with both souricettes, more creating…  And I realized I was just going to run myself ragged and not manage to accomplish a single thing.  I’m not as lazy as I think I am.  I get tired, that’s all.  And maybe I would sew more if I never got up to dance to the music but really, isn’t that part of enjoying life? Getting up and dancing to the music? So this year, I’m striving for balance.

What does balance mean?  I mean, for me?  I don’t like to say that it’s expecting less of myself because that sounds like I’m planning on being a slacker.  When I try to do too much, I end up mentally and emotionally unavailable for my family.  I have so much to do but it takes more time with the souricettes around.  I’m not willing to hire a nanny to help take care of them.  Having children was a choice, not an accident, and I want to be a strong, positive presence in their lives. Not that I think parents who have nannies aren’t doing a great job. So I have to accept that less will get done in a day, a week, a month.  At the same time, I need to ensure that I get to do what I want to do to be happy.  I need to feel like I’m moving forward with my long term goals (i.e. starting a business) and that I’m getting a chance to engage in my own creative endeavors.

I believe some careful planning will allow me to work towards starting my business, take care of current “stuff” (laundry, cooking, child rearing, etc.), and enjoy myself (knitting, sewing, drawing, activities with my family).  People who know me just laughed out loud.  Of course, I would plan/schedule/organize! I just can’t not do it.  It helps me create order out of all the chaos that is life. It makes me feel in control.  Without some sort of plan, I feel like I’m drowning…  So I made a checklist of activities for each week. Mr. Mouse thinks the list is too long. I don’t.  I know I’m able to accomplish more than that in a normal week. The list’s purpose is only to make sure I’m touching on all the important areas of my life.  One activity might work for more than one item. Basically, I pick one big project to work on, one small project to complete (that could be as small as sewing a button back on to a jacket), one activity where I focus on the girls, and something related to the future business.

This week, I’m finishing up my apron (big project), I transferred and organized the data from my USB key (small project + business related project), and I did a puzzle with souricette 1 (focus on one of my girls, souricette 2 gets focused on at swimming).

Totally unrelated to this post but here are this week’s photos.  I saw a cat lounging under the Christmas tree and thought that would be a cool point of view. Only when I got there, I realized it’s really a boring point of view because there are no ornaments.I tried to add some but it didn’t help.  So I tried placing myself in different spots around the tree.  Here are the two most successful.  Not  that they’re actually good…  Oh, and one of souricette 2 that I really like.  She was being cute so I tried to snap a picture.  But the thing with her is that as soon as she sees the camera, she grins and goes for it.  So this photo has her off center and with her finger in the way.  I love it because her personality shines through.

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Creative mommy at home to two wonderful little girls, trying to juggle family, sewing, exercise, family, knitting, photography, and did I mention family?

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Posted in Thoughts

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