There was a time before. Before babies, before marriage, before dating… I don’t remember it. Well, I do but you’re in the before now. I’ve told you my stories from before so many times that you know them all and it feels like you’re in them. And it feels like I’m in yours. There’s no before anymore.
It feels like I’ve been annoyed at the glass left on the counter forever. And the “yes, yes, we still have milk” when there’s less than a glasses worth left in the carton. Less than a coffee’s worth even… And the girls’ clothes not getting picked up and sorted in the evening. Clean clothes in the hamper, dirty clothes hung up…
It feels like you’ve been reading the bedtime stories forever. Scooping the girls up in your arms when you come home. It makes my heart melt, you know. Even when I’m frazzled from cleaning everything up, trying to get dinner done, and keeping the girls from killing each other.
It feels like we’ve been talking forever. Even when we aren’t. I’m not sick of it. It’s comfortable. Even when it isn’t.
Sometimes, I feel like we’re so different. So very very different. And then we talk. And I realize we are very very different. But we’re looking in the same direction. We want the same things and we’re good at making them happen.
I know you love me because you took Max to the vet. And you make sure I don’t sacrifice too much of myself to you or the girls. You make sure I don’t feel guilty for buying shoes or fabric. If I really want something, you help me make it happen.
It’s been 10 years. We look like such babies, don’t we?
And because talking to you in English is just all kinds of weird…
Mathieu, je t’aime. On se le dit tous les jours, mais les mots ne s’usent pas. Quand tu me fais rire, je t’aime. Quand je regarde nos filles, je t’aime. Quand on passe du temps ensemble, je t’aime. Quand je prépare le souper, je t’aime. Quand tu es parti, je t’aime. Quand tu m’énerves, je t’aime. Quand je suis fâchée, je t’aime. Quand je suis fatiguée, je t’aime. Quand je ris, je t’aime. Ce n’est pas original, mais il n’y a rien d’autre à dire. Je t’aime.
I still think you rock a suit!